Extract from ' The Life of Galileo Galilei'

Galileo, naked from the waist up. Braving the vicious inquisition that vehemently accused him of heresy and threatened him with rusty death equipment, defended heliocentism until cut short by Cardinal Bellarmine who spunked his verbs out....

" In response to the tarted up twaddle mucked out by the accused in this banquet of sickening grandeur and knocked off fudgery i say this;
What is this shallow puddle of nauseatingly intellectual horse cock soup meant to be?

Couldnt you just rub urine into your quads if you wanted to spew forth some self gratifying vile piss instead of spiking our brains with the sole purpose of impressing everyone?

You look like a hairless cat bubbling with tumors. "

Chasing the bishops

Sybil Kufc, daughter and wife of ham consultant Sir Toby Slumpton, found herself in an amusing pickle with fire chief Dwight Speedling when several of the bishops she was using as fire lighters in a barbecue for her Thursday night witchery bash used their robes to trap heat and float away across the state of Nebraska. Dwight Speeding was called to shoot down the smoldering man-nuns who were scaring children with their glowing amber eyes and foolishly mistaken by locals for evil space ghosts.
Dwight and his men eventually saw the funny side of things and were invited to join Sybil and her coven for a night of debauched sexual abandon and Mario Kart tag team action.