Ding Ding! Rocky IS realistic!
Contrary to popular stupidity, Rocky is a great drama realistically portraying a lobotomised
stroke victim scraping a living on the seamen soaked streets of
Philadelphia who gets a shot at beating up a rich gay negro and trained
by an angry shouting paedophile with a tumour for a head and sand in his
200 year old spit bucket of a vagina.
This is nothing new to the sweet science. Mongoloid whitey vs uppity soul brother is to boxing what shitting is to prunes.
Yet the heart of the film is Rocky and Adrian's relationship. Its a classic 'retard romance' which so easily could have been a bare knuckle comedy if instead of punching dead cows in a meat locker like a demented ape, he kicked the shit out of Adrian's hamsters in her pet shop (nudge-nudge). His televised beef battering serves as a possible crude metaphor for his obsession with trying to get into Adrian's comatose snatch, an environment not unlike a meat locker.
Its a touching, violent racist spastic (Rocky) rescues and shags skinny pet shop mute (Adrian) from fat alcoholic brothers (fathers?) incestuous enslavement story which balances out the white on black crime finale.
It all may sound like the most epic XXX movie ever made, but Rocky 3 - 5 burst with potential porn stardom with names like Thunder Lips, the maniacal giant blonde slut, Clubber Lang aka "I hate Whitey", Ivan Drago who could be easily called Ivana Commie-on-your-dumb-American-face and fresh faced starlet 'Tommy Gun' (name of a real porn star), who wants it all and ends up biting off more than he could chew by going at it, hammer and tongs, with Rocky in the streets!
Rocky of course gets severely gang-banged by all of them, but ends up on top, and like a true punch drunk, brain damaged champ gets patronised by the cheering masses who in reality would have referred to him as Wop-py Balboa.
Oh, and i forgot to mention Rocky named the dog he bought from Adrian's crappy pet shop 'Butkis'! A cross between 'biscuit' and arse-licker'.
This is nothing new to the sweet science. Mongoloid whitey vs uppity soul brother is to boxing what shitting is to prunes.
Yet the heart of the film is Rocky and Adrian's relationship. Its a classic 'retard romance' which so easily could have been a bare knuckle comedy if instead of punching dead cows in a meat locker like a demented ape, he kicked the shit out of Adrian's hamsters in her pet shop (nudge-nudge). His televised beef battering serves as a possible crude metaphor for his obsession with trying to get into Adrian's comatose snatch, an environment not unlike a meat locker.
Its a touching, violent racist spastic (Rocky) rescues and shags skinny pet shop mute (Adrian) from fat alcoholic brothers (fathers?) incestuous enslavement story which balances out the white on black crime finale.
It all may sound like the most epic XXX movie ever made, but Rocky 3 - 5 burst with potential porn stardom with names like Thunder Lips, the maniacal giant blonde slut, Clubber Lang aka "I hate Whitey", Ivan Drago who could be easily called Ivana Commie-on-your-dumb-American-face and fresh faced starlet 'Tommy Gun' (name of a real porn star), who wants it all and ends up biting off more than he could chew by going at it, hammer and tongs, with Rocky in the streets!
Rocky of course gets severely gang-banged by all of them, but ends up on top, and like a true punch drunk, brain damaged champ gets patronised by the cheering masses who in reality would have referred to him as Wop-py Balboa.
Oh, and i forgot to mention Rocky named the dog he bought from Adrian's crappy pet shop 'Butkis'! A cross between 'biscuit' and arse-licker'.
posted by Bastard cheeks | 8:03 AM
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