Jhuan Onjhyian : The Lost Interview

An Audience with.... Jhuan Onyhjian, scheduled to be broadcast in a special 1978 one-off Christmas special was meant to be a rare and unique glimpse into the mind of long time unknown cult artist Jhuan Onjyhian, member of the prolific greasing trio, the JUSTFORDAFUCOFITITS.
All past attempts to snare this non-eccentric, who aquired a small if not negligible following due to his barely humorus nonsensical rants involving Pot Noodle, pig and goat meats, and the extinct supermarket chain Bejams, fell at the first hurdle based on a total and absolute lack of interest.

The traditional 'Audience with....' format comprising of a one hour live show conducted on stage in front of an large public audience, was greeted with mumbling hostilities by Jhuan. Who agreed to the interview only if he could bring along his trusted companian Jefhinda "filing cabinet" Manpreet. (seen standing behind Jhuan throughout the interview).
A second request was that the audience was to be made up of a singular rastafarian, and the interview be held in a very white room at a secret banal location.
Foolishly all demands were met, and Jhuan Onjhyian, speaking in a pathetic cornish accent, spoke firstly about a dual-cocked girlfriend and wrestler Macho-man Randy Savage.
All seemed to be going well until the mood turned ugly, Jhuan accusing the interviewer of resembling Munkian from Thunder Cats and then coughing for several minutes.

As shown in the stills above, Jhuan seemed to spend the vast majority of the interview aggresivly pointing his infamously soft fingers outwards in a bizarrely threatening manner.
The filming was forced to stop as Jhuan began to cry, sometimes reaching an almost erotic hysteria.

The show was replaced by re-runs of the 1986 Challenger Shuttle disaster.

DODD OUT FOR BLOOD

Stupid looking oldman comedian and child 'entertainer' Ken Dodd has amazingly issued a FATWA on unpopular rival ugly comedian Ronnie Corbett.



Although not a Muslim, Ken Dodd launched into a triade of abuse against Corbett live on stage at Blackpool, where he had just finished his celebrated "Eating a dog" skit.
He shocked his mostly gay and lesbian kids audience with a 10 minute rant about how Corbett has "had it coming for years" and repeating "he has a really stabbable face hasnt he. He has hasnt he".

Immedietly after the show Dodd's manager, Sebastian Phlemjoy, issued a statement outlining Ken Dodds plan to hunt down and mash up Corbett to appease the recent wave of negative feelings Corbetts face has attracted.
Ken Dodd has also re-released his 1931 best selling album "Blood Lust" to generate enough money for him to carry out his homicidle dream which he hopes to turn into a BBC sitcom entitled "Killing Corbetts muthafuckin ass".



Public reaction has been split, with most screaming indifference. Others were unable to answer due to either not being asked or busy eating things.
Ronnie Corbett has not responded to the threat, prefering to gorge himself on sponge cake in a cupboard he has been hiding in ever since being called a "fucking chief" by Sidney Poitier back in July.